There is no greater truth than this (wait for it)…. :
In 96 % of relationships, one partner is the reacher and one is the settler.
And I promise, the 96% is a true statistic, one that I am sure 100% of people reading this will agree with. (If not you are part of the 4% that apparently haven’t experienced the “dating world”).
The reacher in a relationship is the one that most people refer to in surprise. Like “oh my goodness how did he score her?!” The one that is dating someone “out of their league”. The one who is really holding on to what they got, because they know they can “never” do better.
The settler is the one who is unsure. The settler is the on the other end of the spectrum. “What is she doing him?!” The settler is the one who everyone thinks can “do better.” The settler it seems is the one “settling” for what they have.
Ok. Really though I’m no statistician. However, I do know a little bit about dating. I need to stress the little part.
Let me begin with this: I am not a settler.
I don’t date. I’ve never been the girl that is always going on dates or that the guys drool over. And I’m okay with that. Seriously. I think that by not settling, I don’t look hard enough. I look over dates that could be really great because I won’t settle.
Some people may call it picky; tomato, tamato.
People always ask me why I don’t date. It’s always been my view, that I don’t notice interest or opportunity, but I think deep down, it’s because I don’t open myself up to it – In the long run, I think I may be selling myself a little sort, in trying not to “settle”.
I’ve always been the reacher.
In all other areas of life, this has gotten me extremely far. Why in dating does being the “reacher” have such a negative connotation? When looking at the alternative, I’d rather be the reacher – the settler sounds like a depressing position to be in.. Maybe that’s why I avoid it.
Yes- being the “reacher” may not have worked out so well for me in the past. But the alternative is WAY too depressing for me. I don’t want to date someone that I feel I’m settling for :
I don’t want to date mediocre guys, I want to be challenged. I want to have butterflies and be excited to be around someone. I NEVER want to feel like I’m settling for anything in life & definitely not LOVE.
So here’s to the reachers! 🙂