Year of the Bourtney.


2016 has cracked my heart open in a tragically, magical way. I’m convinced the universe works in oxymorons. I’ve felt heartache that has shattered my heart, but found that if I bury that sadness under my skin instead of letting it out, what else can it do but grow in my veins?  A breakup after four years and the recent death of a friend of mine far too young in a terrible accident have catapulted me toward self-growth and the idea that life is far too short to settle for anything mediocre.

My gorgeous friend, Holly, coined the term (and my current mantra) “The Year of The Bourtney.” Here’s what living life with no expectations and a true appreciation for everything looks like:

I got a dog. I flew to Seattle solo for a Seahawks game. I hiked 28 miles in a single day. I spent 17 hours with a (semi) stranger and felt closer to them than people I’ve known for years. I went to a baseball game, visited an island, went on a motorcycle ride and had someone tell me they loved me all in less than 48 hours. I fell in love with being alive in every sense of the word in this wildly beautiful world.

I realized that being soft is not a terrible thing. I won’t let anyone make me hard. I won’t apologize for my one superpower- loving hard. I’m no longer ashamed for those moments in life I showed how hard I loved, even if they weren’t reciprocated because I was living the only way my heart knows how. & who is the real loser in a situation where they’re not experiencing love completely?!

I’ve spent more hours in nature than I can count and found the importance of protecting your peace. The silence of nature grounds me again and I realize the world’s beauty is enough-I am the luckiest girl in the world to witness it in those moments.

I flew across states to visit a friend of mine for 12 hours with 24 hour notice.The amount of fun you can have in 12 hours is ridiculous and you should always, always say “Yes” to any invite. The phrase “Don’t tempt me with a good time” is real and if you invite me to something outlandish or that you think I won’t show up for… I will.

I learned that night air, good conversation and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound. Paradise has never been about places- it exists in moments. In connections.In flashes across time.

I booked a ticket to Dallas for Halloween- because I’ve never been. It also involves a Cowboys football game. You can’t make this stuff up. When you look for things that excite you, opportunities keep popping up. And you always, always say “Yes..”

I’ve laughed so hard I almost spit calamari across the table and ended up in tears.

Persistence is a nice trait…Until it comes to love. I quit trying. Love should make you feel beautiful, adored, honored and important. If you don’t feel those things and you stay, it’s not called persistence, it’s called stupidity.

Loyalty is rare. Never push it away. Cherish, love, appreciate and keep those relationships before you no longer have a chance to. My gratitude for my friends (Caprice, Sam, Becky, Tasha, Jaimee, Holly, Kt, Miles, my mom, my dad, my “fake” sister, Linds, Carey, Liz, Mat, Jamie, & my Gramps) is so ridiculous it makes my heart burst. I hope I act in such a way that they’ll always know that.

I’ve chosen to listen to expiration dates. Spoiled things are no good for us and make our life sour. Yes- even people have expiration dates.

There’s truth in the statement don’t settle. As cheesy as it sounds. If someone wants to be with you, NOTHING will stop them from doing so. Love doesn’t create excuses.

Connection is the essence of existence. Connections can’t be severed, even if a person is gone.

While there may still be a few more months to round out this year as well as 77 days until my 30TH BIRTHDAY (but who’s counting?!) I couldn’t resist sharing my love for these 29 years on this planet and the growth 2016 has given me. Thank you forever The Year of The Bourtney.









One comment

  1. The “Year of Bourtney” is real! I love you with all my heart, thank you for taking the time to write this! You’re truly an inspiration and I feel so lucky to call you a friend. 30 is going to be a great year! XOXO

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